Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ben's Thoughs on 9021-Fail

I had a fabulous dinner with some girlfriends last night and when I left the restaurant I called Ben to tell him I was on my way home. We started talking about the evening and he was like "I tried to comment on your blog, but it got too long, its a 2 page word document". I laughed. But then I got home and read his thoughts and thought he had a pretty hilarious take on the show so I figure I'll share them with yall. I didn't edit his words at all. If you're not a 90210 fan, sorry. I promise to find something else entertaining to blog about next time.

Keeping up with all the storylines is an absolute nightmare right now. Each prominent cast member has about 37 things hovering over or around them right now. It's ridiculous. I THINK they are juniors this year. They are 28 year old juniors. Pretty much this entire episode is on the group of people most affected by the end of season 1 prom night debacle of epic proportions.

NewDylan was barely seen. Also got nothing last night from Kelly and Teacherdudewhobangedbrenda.

No Drama Adrianna’s hair grew like 8 inches over the summer. Cause that’s possible.

I think 9-0 has finally broken its own record of oldest dude to play a high school student on TV. I give you .... Teddy. This dude looks 35. He looks like he has the potential to be aw- ful/esome.

Things we know about OldTeddy: tennis star, son of world famous movie star, went to summer camp with Adrianna back in the day and was her first romp in the sack, good dancer. Oh and he’s now enrolled at West Beverly.

Good segue to the choreographed dance part. I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember ever just busting out in a dance with e’rbody at the parties back in 94 in the boro. Can you imagine just hanging out then and Coolio’s “Fantastic Voyage” just creeps on over the speakers at the party and next thing you know there’s like 25 of us just killin it like we were the dance team at a pep rally. “Slide, slide, slippity slide, hittin switches on the block in a ’65”.

So anyway, that part was awesome.

Poor Navid. Everybody in the entire cast has had tons of ass by junior year and he can’t even get any from No Drama Adrianna who apparently signed the prom promise after she boned so many dudes she had a baby. Big ups on the sex jams CD he made though. And now he’s got OldTeddy the deflowerer to deal with.. The deck is stacked against Navid I’m afraid.

There are some episodes where I love Naomi. And there are some episodes where I want to punch her in the throat. NewDylan has got her all messed up and turned her into turboslut. She was even illegal turboslut mistress until she put her foot down about her values…she is not a disgusting cheater.

Bipolar Erin Silver is batshit crazy.

I think it's about to be Bad News Bears for Annie. Let me see if I can get straight what has happened with her since the end of the school year and over the summer:

-she didn't sleep with NewDylan but Naomi is convinced she did so she embarrassed Annie pretty awfully at the prom party and set the tone for the battle royale

-Annie calls cops on prom party and busts EVERYONE there for underage drinking, thus making them all hit summer school and of course all hate Annie

-On the way home from prom party Annie possibly hits some dude with her car and then leaves him for dead. Dude possibly suffers, falls into coma, eventually dies. Also there was a car behind her that saw everything or something.

Pretty sure the car shown ends up being the car OldTeddy drove to school on the first day of school in the fall. I fully expect some sort of haunting / blackmail for Annie.

-Annie's family moves out of Grandmas enormous mansion into a more humble abode. Nobody in her family can have a civilized conversation with annie without getting some horrible acting thrown at them.

-Annie finds out dude she hit dies and tries to confide in Dixon who doesn't even listen to her and instead flips out on her and abandons her at a beach party where everybody hates her. (It's worth noting that Dixon has turned into a complete douchebag this season.)

-Annie gets approached by a senior while sitting on the beach as an outkast. She drinks his flask, makes out with him, ends up in cabana with him, may or may not have done the nasty but definitely got nudie pics of her taken unknowingly. Bad news.

-Naomi goes 1-up in battle of who can ruin who's life faster as she obtains said pic of Annie. I think it's safe to say when this gets out Annie could potentially go Carrie on west beverly.

Sounds not awesome for Annie.

All this before junior year even gets rockin. And we all know teenage girls handle their emotions very well. I think with the addition of the Beverly Hills Beach Club, OldTeddy, and Annie starting to turn towards the darkside, I am going to call this show - TERRIBLE: Saved by the 9021 OC.

Two things I’m waiting on:

NewDylan to tell Naomi he banged her slutbag older sister and not Annie.

OldTeddy’s part in the post prom hit and run.

Everybody else could get the clap for all I care.

The show is real real bad. It might be can’t turn away bad.


EquisBuffy said...

And where was Naomi’s slutbag older sister? She was essentially the source of all the drama that we were blessed with on Tuesday but I don’t think there was one mention of her the entire episode.

Accidentally Me said...

You know, I kinda feel like I am up to date and could pick up the show next week without having watched it...thanks, Ben!!!

BWL said...

no problem

honestly the more i have thought about it, the more i think this season is already better in one episode than the entire season last year due to them seemngly focussing on the main characters more instead of all the outliers as well

i am sure that as soon as i say that i will be dead wrong

regardless the show is flat out awful but i kind of want to see how awful it can get

Wes said...

Not having your weekly football preview because you are blogging about sissy TV on your wife's blog = fail. Buddy Gambill called - get your ass back over here.